Photo by mark kimpel

During rehearsals for the big show later this month I kept feeling the irresistible urge to stop playing my Bassoon and scratch my leg. I didn’t of course, because that would have resulted in one of those steely-eyed stares from Brian, our conductor.

No musician likes to be on the receiving end of a glare from any Conductor, and Brian’s the type of guy who you want to stay on the right side of so I somehow managed to keep playing and saved all of the scratching until my piece was over, or at least until I had something of a break in my playing responsibilities.

Now, I’ve been known to break out in a rash induced by stress so I put the itching and scratching down to nerves in anticipation of the concert we’ve been planning for months and which is almost upon us.

Alas, I wish it were only nerves because the reality is rather more unpleasant.

That’s right, my bassoon’s got fleas!

I’m making this somewhat embarrassing revelation in the hope that someone reading this can avoid my predicament. You see, I have a dog called Marcus who I love very much, but sometimes he brings unwanted things into the house. In the past he’s brought dirty sticks collected during long walks by the river, chewed up golf balls he’s foraged from the rough of the local links, he’s even been known to bring home the occasional rabbit (dead of course). All of these things I can handle.

What I can’t handle is an army of fleas, none of which I can see until they’re upon me and all of which seem to be masters in the art of urban warfare.

Declaring War on the Dog Fleas

As soon as I realised we had an infestation, I took Marcus to the vets and got some flea spot-on for him. I also treated the house from top to bottom with a spray that kills the fleas that hide in your carpets as well as the dog’s bedding. These ninja fleas can even hide between cracks in the floorboards, so you really have to be thorough.

What I had failed to anticipate was the ingenuity of a group of enterprising fleas who had taken up residence in my bassoon. I didn’t spray my instrument with the chemicals because I didn’t want to damage it, and also for health and safety reasons, but mainly because it never crossed my mind that they would be so cunning.

After a lot of deliberation over how best to get rid of the problem, I took my bassoon to the local music store. They seemed to know exactly what to do (apparently my problem is more common than you might think). The solution involved a musical technician, a vacuum cleaner and some specialist tools – no chemicals.

I now have my bassoon back in full working order and flea free.

Prevention is Better Than Cure

If you’re a musician and your dog gets fleas, treat your dog, treat your home, but whatever you do don’t forget to treat your instrument. Better yet, as my vet keeps reminding me, ensure you’re up to date with a programme of year-round preventative flea control using a good quality spot-on like Frontline or Frontline Plus for dogs. After all, prevention, as we all know, is far better than cure.